A powerful hybrid memoir exploring the connections between father and son, and addiction and disease, while examining what it really means to be a man
Growing up in and around New York City, all Mathew really knew of his father, Tofi, was that he loved to cook, he loved to dance, and he was, for the most part, absent from his family's life. When Mathew grew older and realized he was gay, he was told, "Don't get AIDS;' a stinging warning at the time. But when he discovered that his father had been a lifelong drug addict and, while Tofi was in hospice care, that he'd been HIV positive for all of Mathew's life, that warning suddenly took on new meaning. With this revelation, Mathew embarked on a journey to understand his father's story, and ultimately his own.
Tough Guy is a powerful debut memoir that combines Mathew's story of growing up as a gay Puerto Rican American with his father's story of growing up poor on the Lower East Side and turning to heroin as an escape route. It would be easy to believe that Tofi was only an absent father, but in examining the cultural and historical context he comes from––first generation New Yorker, the impact of the heroin crisis that targeted young men like him, and the silent nature of HIV before it was publicly known––Mathew paints the picture of a much more complicated figure through a journalistic lens. Poignant and thoughtfully researched, Tough Guy is a powerful reflection on family, masculinity, and all the little pieces that make us who we are.
Praise
“Mathew Rodriguez’s Tough Guy expands the genre of memoir to meet our contemporary moment. It is a personal history, a familial history, a geography of New York City, a map of viral infection, an aftershock of addiction, and a lasting portrait of the imprint of a father on a son. With authoritative research and remarkable emotional honesty, Rodriguez uncovers the words too often whispered just out of earshot. This book is a reminder that every individual is formed by language, by family, by place, by health, and by politics. Memory, in Tough Guy, can never be only personal; it is always collective, in a way that’s nearly always unexplored in memoir. Rodriguez’s prose is incisive, precise, and emotionally devastating. Tough Guy taught me a new history of my nation, my city, and my own body. I left this story forever changed.”
—Joseph Osmundson, author of Virology, a National Book Critics Circle Finalist in Nonfiction
“He writes eloquently, with calmness, certainty, and great heart. . . . A touching and memorable tribute to a father.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Mathew Rodriguez tells the story of a father, a son, and a family, set against the backdrop of decades of New York City in transition and transformation and of the AIDS epidemic—its history, its legacy, and its toll. Tough Guy is clear-eyed, deeply researched, and achingly personal, shot through with both love and rage.”
—Linda Villarosa, The New York Times Magazine contributing writer and author of the book Under the Sk
“This compassionate and loving memoir expands many legacies: the classic New Yorker, Puerto Rican immigration and Nuyorican life, gay men building a self, public housing, how HIV hides in plain sight, families and children of addicts, the journey of chronic illness, growing up a nerd, fat boys, the treasure of community, and more. But most importantly Mathew Rodriguez helps us accept ourselves, by his example, through honesty, facing reality, and the courage to change. Moving and vulnerable throughout, Tough Guy is a real accomplishment that will be meaningful to a wide range of readers.”
—Sarah Schulman, author of The Fantasy and Necessity of Solidarity
"This wrenching dual narrative candidly explores addiction, AIDS, and the ties that bind with equal parts righteousness and compassion. It’s an indelible family saga."
—Publishers Weekly
“Tough Guy is a unique father/son memoir, a feat of research and imagination. Drawing upon his years of reporting on the HIV community and his own powerful desire to understand, Rodriguez has created a compassionate and loving portrait of the father he hardly knew.”
—Alysia Abbott, author of internationally award-winning memoir Fairyland
“Tough Guy is a brave and tender story of an elusive father battling HIV, a vibrant Lower East Side community, and an intrepid son who boldly attempts to piece it all together. It is equal parts gritty and luminous.”
—Ava Chin, author of Mott Street
