A powerful, provocative, and genre-bending literary memoir that grapples with victimhood, recovery, and resilience
In the before, Jesse James Rose is happy. She has a beautiful boyfriend with melty glacier eyes, she’s on a euphoric journey of gender exploration, and New York City is perfect. In the after, she’s single, making dinner for her grandfather, and wondering if he’s going to forget her name today. Except, in the before, her first-grade music teacher lead her into a dark room to show her something he shouldn’t have. And in the after, she’s finding healing and comfort in coming into her own, even as her grandfather declines.
In the before, she was fine, more or less. But in the after, she has to reckon with whatever the hell restorative justice really, truly means.
Following the aftermath of an assault, and the heartache of caring for a grandfather with Alzheimer’s, sorry i keep crying during sex tells a captivating story of identity, recovery, grief, survivorship, and transness. Through lists, theatrical scripts, flashbacks, and Grindr DMs, Jesse James Rose’s genre-defying memoir is raw and hysterically funny, and takes readers on the wild ride of overcoming the struggles of a trans twentysomething.
Praise
“sorry i keep crying during sex is a nervy whirlwind of formal invention, overflowing with unforgettable lines. Only virtuosic comedy diva Jesse James Rose could morph a memoir of trauma, grief, and recovery into such a transformative blast.”
—Henry Hoke, author of Open Throat
“sorry i keep crying during sex reads like your best friend’s diary—a propulsive exploration of trauma, gender, and self with just the right amount of dark humor on top.”
—Jen Winston, author of Greedy
“Do you think Taylor Swift knows there’s an invisible string tying dementia, blow jobs, and 9/11 together? She might not, but Jesse James Rose definitely does—and after reading her memoir, I’m certain of it too. Rose wields words so incisively, always dancing the line between intellectual brilliance and delicious vulgarity with the ease of a silky hair flip. As tender as it is biting, sorry i keep crying during sex is an unflinching account of grief, identity, and reclamation in the age of Grindr and Wellbutrin. Rose folds memory and trauma into the pages of this book as deftly as she bakes pastries for her dying grandfather. A salve for survivors, a hand-squeeze for caretakers, and infinite awkward finger guns for sensitive queers everywhere—this book will hold you close and catch all your tears.”
—Haley Jakobsen, author of Old Enough
“A visceral, raw portrayal of trans and queer life, sorry i keep crying during sex will have you holding on for dear life. This book doesn't pull a single punch. Jesse Rose writes with exactly the type of tender, aggressive, in-your-face narrative gumption we need right now. Don't call it a debut: bitch, it's an arrival.”
—Jacob Tobia, author of Before They Were Men and Sissy
“Sorry I keep laughing while reading sorry i keep crying during sex, but Jesse James Rose’s darkly queer humor recognizes the absurdities of our lives even as we yearn and break and heal within them. Radical and fresh and giddily honest.”
—Michelle Tea, author of Against Memoir
“In a moment where trans and queer voices are more vital than ever, sorry i keep crying during sex by Jesse James Rose is a lifeline. With raw vulnerability and unflinching honesty, Rose has crafted a sparkling debut that is both achingly personal and universally resonant. This is not just a story of trauma, healing, and identity—it’s a necessary reminder of how important it is to both be, and feel, seen. Through tender prose and bright insight, Rose gives voice to experiences too often silenced. We don’t just need books like this one—we all need this very book.”
—Eli Rallo, content creator and author of I Didn’t Know I Needed This
“sorry I keep crying during sex won’t arrive wrapped in a bow, and it doesn’t care about tidy endings. It is a vivid and vital account of what it means to navigate the world as a trans human, a survivor, and a caregiver all at once. It is the brutal poetry of healing in a precious and cruel world. It articulates the emotional whiplash of traversing some of life’s sharpest dichotomies: being the target of unspeakable violence and making room for soft pleasure, accepting the final moments of a loved one’s decline while resisting state terror at large, expressing yourself fully within the confines of a binary world . . . I opened the book while walking into the house, and I ended up standing at the door for hours because I couldn’t put it down.”
—Alyson Stoner, actor and author of Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything
“As a trans gen-z cusp, this book hit good and hard for me. sorry I keep crying during sex is a masterclass in vulnerability. Jesse answers our questions before we can even ask, and they take the reader places most authors wouldn’t venture to.”
—Dylan Mulvaney, New York Times bestselling author of Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomer
“Rose writes with a wide open heart and complete trust in the reader. A propulsive, provocative, startlingly candid work.”
—Charlotte Shane, author of An Honest Woman
“Jesse’s memoir is unlike anything you’ve ever read—a feat of experimental writing. It’s hilarious, heartbreaking, beautiful, and raw (in more ways than one).”
—Zachary Zane, author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto
“If I was living through an apocalypse and needed something to burn for warmth and survival, I would choose this book last. sorry I keep crying during sex is full of feeling: pain, grief, hope, love. It grinded my heart to a pulp, only to put it back together again. Through it all, this book dissects identity with a beautifully manicured claw and ushers in a singular voice the world desperately needs. I would read Jesse James Rose’s grocery list just to spend another second with her words.”
—Nic Marna, @bookbinch
